2017 was a year of growth for me. Serious growth.
The year began in the home I am writing from now. I literally rang in 2017 in the very spot I am sitting in now. But it wasn’t my home on Jan 1, 2017. It was Chris’ house, and I was still just a visitor at the time. Fast forward a couple of months and the place that we called home was one in the same.
Some of you who have been following me for a while, noticed a big change in late 2016/early 2017. I made a choice to end a relationship that I had been in, that was not making me happy. There were MANY reasons behind this decision, but the bottom line was, I knew all along what I had to do. It just took me months and months to get there. I definitely don’t condone making irrational decisions, but I definitely support following your heart, and none of us are perfect. I made mistakes that led to my unhappiness, and I have to live with those choices.
I moved out of a house that I had just purchased. I gave up my slice of real estate in Orange County, in order to have my freedom to move on quickly. I dealt with a lot of people who didn’t understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. I definitely faced a lot of judgement.
BUT… I also received a ton of support from the majority of my friends and family. It was so heartwarming, actually, to see the lack of judgement from so many people who I always knew were “my people”. To be honest, it didn’t matter to me what other people thought. I was that unhappy. I knew that this was the first time I was listening to my gut, in a LONG time, and it felt great. I trusted that it would take me to a great place. And it certainly has, my friends.
I saw A LOT of change in myself over the past year. I honestly had NO concept of who I really was, and what I wanted to accomplish. This is all extremely funny to say, especially after 12 years of school/training and just starting my career as a doctor, on my own. It took months of trial and error (and quite honestly, a whole lot of support and wisdom from Chris), for me to figure out how to even be a good partner in our relationship. I always knew what my core values were, and where I wanted to be, but I had no idea how to get there. I learned slowly but surely, that love really does prevail, and even though I had a ton of bad habits secondary to a previous failed relationship, it was easy to be around Chris and the love I have for him was never in question. This really allowed me to flourish, once I let go of all the anxiety associated with my previous experiences.
This has by far been my largest growth period, in life. Kind of crazy honestly, with all of the intensive training I’ve been through in medicine. My biggest growth period was AFTER all of that 🙂 Kind of makes me chuckle to myself.
So here it is friends. My recap of 2017, and what I’m hoping for, in 2018!
What I learned in 2017:
- You have to know how to make yourself happy before anyone else can make you happy
- If you don’t like your current situation (job, relationship, location), you DON’T have to stay in it
- You have to stick up for yourself, and put yourself first
- Therapy helps… A LOT, in many indescribable ways
- I have a tendency to be pessimistic, and if recognized early, it can be avoided
- There is someone out there who will support you and stand by you, you just have to let them in
- Not everyone is trying to compete with you, measure themselves up against you, or argue with you
- Technology is not always a necessary part of the day
Best moments of 2017:
- Moving in with the love of my life
- Taking Chris on his first Michigan trip
- Watching my social media account bloom into my very own brand that has formed relationships with amazing companies that I truly believe in
- Taking home my fur baby Frenchie, EMS
- A birthday trip to my favorite hotel, SLS in Beverly Hills
- Purchasing my first, super nice car, on my own
- Buying my first big-girl bag at my favorite designer store, Chanel
- Saving the life of a child with a large brain bleed, who was able to return to their normal life after a much shorter-than-anticipated hospital stay
Goals for 2018:
- Travel more, as our schedules allow
- Read more for leisure
- Be more organized with my social media endeavors
- See my family more than once this year
- Live more in the moment
- Waste less food (I am seriously the worst with buying a ton of produce and not having a big enough stomach to eat it in time!)
- Be less stressed out while I’m at work
- Show Ems more of the world out there
- Learn how to make a fabulous latte
Chris and I decided to celebrate New Years Eve a night early, because one of us has to work 🙁 C’est la vie, I suppose! We went to a nice dinner at one of our favorite spots in Newport Beach, Rusty Pelican, and we raised our glasses to one thing we both definitely want to see happen in 2018…
Can you guess what it is???
What are your New Years resolutions?! I can’t wait to hear them!
Scrubs and pajamas in photo above are by FIGS; Photos by Zo’e Fraley
18 thoughts on “2017: the good, the bad, the ugly”
Love this! Thanks for being so real and showing us that everyone has life issues! After reading this im def going to sit amd reflect on what I’ve learned this year, and my goals for 2018. Best of luck to you and here’s to a great new year for you, Chris and Ems.
I love this kind of content! It’s so relatable and real. Glad you decided to follow your heart and are now way happier because of it 🙂
You are so inspiring to so many! It’s amazing how much I can relate to this post. Cheers to health, happiness and more growth for the new year ♥️
Thanks so much for sharing. The day before our anniversary and the new year marked the end of my relationship with who I thought was the love of my life but who was cheating on me all along. I’ve never been in so much pain. I can’t even study for exams I have but it’s nice to read a story of recovery and joy in just one year. I hope that 2018 brings healing for me, just as 2017 did for you
Such a great post. Thank you for sharing. I can absolutely empathize with 2017 being a year of tremendous personal growth. I’ve learned that the tough stuff is truly what makes the good stuff. Congrats on all the mountains you have climbed thus far, and cheers to those you will conquer in the future. You’re wonderful, all the best in 2018!
Fellow Sun Devil, doctor, and Justin imbiber
Incredible that this post just described my past year and a half (relationship wise and in personal growth)… Now I just need to get to where you are in a professional level. You are a true inspiration and 2018 goals! Happy New Year!
(Fellow Medical Graduate)
Please please PLEASEEEEE I hope it’s MARRIAGE for you two!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉
Loves this love!!!!!! So happy for you!! Hope I can help in someway with #3 😉 happy to see you so happy!!
I love how raw and honest this post was. It really is inspiring and highlights that we can always prevail in even the most terrible of circumstances – there’s always a light at the end of that dark tunnel! I hope you, Chris & EMS can have an incredible 2018 with more growth, love & joy in your relationship!!
To your continied success!!! 🙋♂️
You are the greatest role model… girls can only hope to grow up as strong and level headed as you. Thanks for sharing!
You’re amazing! Such an inspiration!! 2017 marked the end of a draining relationship for me as well, followed by finding the right man who brings out the best in me. I’ve learned that when you choose to close a door, no matter how hard it may be, another opportunity will present for happiness. I wish you all the best in 2018 and I’m so happy for you! Also I hope the engagement is coming!! Best of luck!
From a senior undergrad pursuing a career as an ED doc (and fellow Chanel lover)
Your journey of growth through 2017 is truly inspirational!
Th you for SHARING thiS experience. As an MS4 with a ton of uncertainty, it’s good to know it’s normal to still be figuring it out as we go. You’re amazing, Cassie!
Love this! Thank you so much for the insight. So nice to have someone be so real and so open. Wish you all the best!
Love that you can be vulnerable and share some of your hardships. It’s so easy to portray your life a certain way, while ignoring the trials and tribulations. I am so happy for you and all of your accomplishments. Really curious to know if you have made any progress on “wasting less food” considering we are now in 2020 😉